Range of Emotions
by suburbs
Summary: Stella, Joe, Kevin and Nick visit Macy in the hospital after she is injured playing hockey. JONAS.
1. Fear

_Disclaimer: I do not own JONAS._

_A/N: I wrote this at the end of vacation and am still a little rusty. I'm so glad to be back I'll probably post the four chapters I have done at once._

_Dedication: To faerietaleredux for all the encouragement (and betaing the first chapter) and Loved-Invention and PurpleAngel87 for watching over Pure Horace Mantis for me while I was gone. You guys are the best!_

"Joey, I need you."

Normally Joe would have not so gently reminded his best friend that he hadn't been "Joey" since the third grade, but there was something in Stella's voice that caught his attention and made everything else seem trivial.

"Where are you?"

"The hospital."

"Are you okay?" He asked with panic evident in his voice. His stomach clenched up at the thought of Stella being hurt.

"It's Macy," she replied. Even though he couldn't see her, he could picture exactly what she looked like at that moment – her eyes were crinkled and her lips pursed as she tried to keep herself from crying; he had seen her like that when her grandfather had died a few years earlier.

"Stella, I'll be there in," he glanced down at his watch, "twenty minutes. Where do I go to find you?"

"The waiting room on the third floor." He could hear her sniff before she continued, "Thanks Joe. Love you."

Hearing her say that always gave him a warm, fluttery feeling, even if she only meant it as a friend.

"You too, Stell."

Hanging up, he took a moment to gather his thoughts. He needed to at least leave his mom a note telling her where he was or she would worry and he would get in trouble. And since it was Macy, he should probably tell his brothers. They all had a soft spot for Jonas' self-proclaimed super fan; she was quirky and still tended to injure them with random sports equipment, but she always meant well and was there for them in a pinch. He grabbed a pad of paper from the counter and scrawled a message to his mom before yelling, "Guys something happened to Macy, and I'm leaving for the hospital. Come now if you want to go with me."

He could hear scrambling upstairs and in a moment two pairs of feet were coming down the fire poles.

"What!" Kevin exclaimed. "Why is Macy in the hospital?"

"I don't know. Stella just called and told me she wanted me at the hospital because something happened to Macy."

Kevin gave him a puzzled look, "And you didn't ask what happened? Even I would have remembered to ask what happened."

Joe glared at his older brother, but before he could respond Nick jumped in. "How about instead of arguing, we just get in the car and head over so we can find out what's wrong?"

Patting Nick on the shoulder, Kevin replied, "That's a great idea." He frowned before continuing, "I really hope Macy is alright."

At his brother's comment, Joe felt a small twinge of guilt; he had been so worried about Stella that he hadn't really thought about what might be the matter with Macy. Frowning, he grabbed the keys to the car and headed out the door without saying anything else. It was a good ten minute drive to the hospital, so they needed to get started if they were going to get there on time. And he really needed to see Stella as soon as possible.

Joe fidgeted in the elevator, trying to will the thing to go faster. Thanks to Kevin, he was already six minutes late. His brother had seen a huge pink, fluffy teddy bear in the gift shop downstairs and had to stop and buy it for Macy. A two hundred dollar teddy bear! Who on earth besides Kevin would spend that much money on a stuffed animal? And of course now everyone they passed was staring at them; it wasn't every day you saw a teenage boy walking around with a massive pink bear. It was only a matter of time before someone recognized them and freaked out. He should have snuck out and gone on his own.

As the doors slid open, he almost expected Stella to be standing there waiting for him, her hands on her hips, ready to scold him. She had a thing about punctuality. But as he exited the elevator, he saw her sitting in a chair in the waiting area, her head in her hands.

"Hey, Stella," he said quietly.

At the sound of his voice, her head shot up. Her eyes were glistening with tears and she bolted out of her seat as soon as she saw him. He barely had time to register what was happening before she threw her arms around his neck and began crying into his chest. He pulled her close and began to stroke her long, blonde hair in what he hoped was a comforting manner, trying very hard not to think about how nice it felt to hold his best friend.

They stood like that for a few minutes before Nick finally asked the question that all three boys had been wondering, "How's Macy? What happened?"

Sniffling, Stella pulled away from Joe, and he immediately missed having her in his arms. Briefly considering that his feelings for Stella were actually becoming an issue, he tried to concentrate on what she was saying.

"She was playing hockey and had spent most of the game skating rings around this big guy on the other team. He must have gotten tired of her out-skating him because he just smashed her into the side of the rink." She stopped for a moment and shuttered. "It was horrible. I could hear a crunch and she just fell to the ice like a rag doll."

Stella turned to Joe and looked him in the eye, "You know how tough Macy is. I kept expecting her to get up and tell him off, but she just lay there not moving." She bit her lip and leaned back into Joe as she finished talking. He wrapped his arms around her.

"Have you heard anything about how she is doing?" Kevin asked quietly. "Is she okay?"

Without lifting her head from Joe's chest, she said, "The doctor came out and got her mom about ten minutes ago, but she hasn't come back yet."

Joe went back to stroking Stella's hair and told her, "We'll wait here with you, okay?"

He felt her nod. He watched his brothers glance around the small lounge looking for somewhere to sit. Fortunately the only other occupant was an elderly gentleman who was unlikely to recognize them. They had a fairly broad fan base, but the senior citizen crowd usually wasn't among them. Nick took the seat next to the older man, allowing Kevin and the bear to sit in the seat next to where Stella had been when they arrived. Joe thought about asking Stella if she wanted to sit, but since she showed no signs of moving he decided to just let her be.

Nick had just asked everyone if they wanted him to go get them something to drink when Mrs. Misa appeared next to them. Stella moved away from Joe slightly so she faced her friend's mom, but she still kept one arm around his waist, obviously reluctant to break the contact. He draped an arm protectively around her shoulder and waited to hear what Macy's mom had to say.

"She's going to be okay."

Joe could feel the tension drain from Stella's body as she sagged against him in relief. Both of his brothers broke out in grins.

"But the doctor said she hurt her back and if she plays any more sports she could risk serious permanent injury." Mrs. Misa's voice broke as she said, "I just had to tell Macy she can't play sports anymore."

Stella immediately went to her friend's mother and hugged the older woman, while Joe and his brothers looked at each other in shock. He couldn't picture Macy without sports, and he was sure they were both thinking the same thing. While the halls of Horace Mantis would be a safer place for the members of JONAS, he realized with surprise that he would gladly take the bruises if it meant Macy could still do what she loved. Sports were part of what made her Macy.

Mrs. Misa recovered quickly, "I have to go talk to the doctors for awhile, but she should be able to have visitors soon. Do you mind waiting? Maybe a visit from JONAS will cheer her up." Then she added as almost an after-thought, "And you too, Stella dear."

"Of course we'll wait," Nick said quickly. "Just let us know when we can go see her."

Watching as the woman smiled at his brother, Joe was struck by how mature Nick was. He might be horrible with girls his own age, but he had a way of instilling confidence in adults that Joe admired. As Mrs. Misa turned and walked back down the hall, Stella moved towards Joe, snuggling up against him again. He could seriously get used to this side of her. While he didn't want Macy to be hurt, he was enjoying having his best friend lean on him.

Taking a chance and brushing his lips against the top of her head, he followed up by saying, "Don't worry, Stell. Everything is going to be okay."


	2. Empathy

_Disclaimer: I do not own JONAS._

_A/N: Hour six of my flight back to the states. _

_Dedication: To MissNata13, LittleRedOne, and applepips. Thanks for the lovely notes while I was gone._

Kevin sat stunned as Mrs. Misa turned to leave. Macy without sport? But that was who she was. She flitted around school in her uniforms looking so adorable that he didn't even mind when she inevitably wounded him with whatever paraphernalia she was carrying. And now he might never get to see her in a Horace Mantis softball jersey with her hair pulled back in a ponytail swinging from side to side as she walked. She wouldn't ever tackle him while wearing full football gear; he could still picture her with black smudges under her eyes, biting her lip while she apologized as if he minded being knocked to the ground by her.

Macy without sports.

What would she do?

As he tried to imagine her doing something other than athletics, he was struck by a thought.

What would he do if he couldn't play guitar anymore?

He figured he would still want to do something related to music. Or animals. Or even better, something with musical animals. He leaned back in the uncomfortable plastic hospital chair and tried to think of something he could do involving both. As much as he loved the idea of an otter playing trumpet, that seemed impractical. He wasn't sure how trainable otters were. Seals might be able to play the horns (he thought he might have seen a picture of that somewhere), but they would be difficult to locate and take care of. The bathtub in the firehouse certainly wasn't large enough to hold a seal.

And then it hit him – a monkey. He could get a monkey and be an organ grinder. It was perfect.

Maybe he could get an organ device that played really cool songs, and then he and the monkey could travel around entertaining people. They could have really cool outfits and…

"Hey, Stella?" Kevin asked suddenly. "Could you design outfits for a monkey?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he remembered that it was usually better to provide some context before blurting out the conclusions of his internal musings. Sometimes he forgot that the people around him hadn't been following his train of thought.

"You just found out Macy can't play sports anymore and you're thinking about monkeys?" Nick asked incredulously, a look bordering on disgust on his face.

Realizing how that must sound, Kevin's eyes went wide and he hurriedly explained, "I was thinking about what it would be like if I couldn't play guitar. What I would do."

Nick's expression softened as he asked wryly, "And you went with primate fashion mogul?"

Shaking his head, Kevin replied, "Organ grinder."

Everyone in the room smiled at this, including the old man still sitting in the corner listening to the conversation with some measure of confusion. Looking over at Stella, Kevin asked again, "So do you think you could design something for me and my monkey?"

"Definitely. You two would be the best dressed organ grinder team in the world. I see matching stripped pants and white shirts. And the monkey would wear a green vest and blue beret for that traditional retro look. But I think you should stick with basic black accessories," Stella replied.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want anyone to mistake Kevin for the monkey," Joe added, receiving disapproving glares from the girl leaning against him and his younger brother. "What?" He said defensively. "Like you two weren't thinking the same thing."

The comment didn't bother Kevin because he knew his younger brother was joking. He was much too tall to be mistaken for a monkey. Plus, he didn't have fur.

Ignoring Joe, Nick asked, "What if you couldn't play music at all? What would you do then?"

"Well, I guess the monkey would have to crank the organ, and I would collect the money." Kevin thought about it for a moment before adding, "It might be better that way. I bet we'd make more money if the monkey played the music. Any person could turn the crank on the box, but a monkey doing it would cool."

"Sounds like an excellent plan," Nick said. "But let's hope you never have to put it into action."

Kevin nodded solemnly. He loved playing guitar and performing. He hated to even think of quitting, even if he did have the awesome monkey backup plan. He couldn't imagine how Macy must be feeling right now.

"Would you like to go see Macy?"

The voice seemed to come out of nowhere, startling Kevin. He looked up to see Mrs. Misa standing nearby. He stood up quickly, eager to see his injured friend.

"She's down the hall in room 307. The nurse said it would be okay for you all to go in for a short visit. I have to make a few phone calls, so maybe you could all go sit with her while I'm gone."

"Of course, Mrs. Misa," Stella said. "You make your phone calls."

Macy's mom gave her a small smile before turning and heading for the elevators. Kevin felt butterflies in his stomach as he thought about seeing the petite brunette. He always looked forward to seeing Macy, but this time he was worried about what to say. As he tried to come up with an appropriate greeting, Stella's phone rang.

"It's my mom," she said. "I told her I'd let her know how Macy was."

The blond was obviously torn between talking to her mom and going to see Macy. Kevin thought she seemed relieved when someone made the decision for her.

"Answer the phone," Joe said. "It'll just take a second. Nick and Kevin can go sit with Macy until you're done. She knows how your mom gets; she'll understand."

Kevin noticed that Joe didn't include himself in the trip to Macy's room. His brother obviously planned on sticking close to Stella. He may not be the brightest light in the sky, but Kevin had known for awhile how his brother felt about their stylist. And now with the way he was hovering protectively around her (almost like she was the one who had been hurt), Kevin was pretty sure even the old guy in the waiting room could tell. The big question was how did Stella not see it?

As Stella answered her phone, Kevin followed Nick down the hallway in search of Macy's room. When they found it, they knocked quietly and opened the door without waiting for a response.

Kevin bit his lip to keep from gasping.

Macy looked so frail and small in the white hospital bed. She was extremely pale, and he could see a large, purple bruise forming on her right arm. She was hooked up to some machine and had an IV in her hand. But it was her eyes that made him want to cry. She had given them a small smile when they entered the room, but it hadn't reached her eyes. Someone had turned out the light in Macy Misa's eyes, and that physically hurt him.

He wanted to see her real smile and see her eyes glow happily.

"Hi Macy," he heard Nick say.

"Hi," she whispered back, looking at Kevin to see if he was going to talk to her.

"Hi Macy," he finally said. "I brought you something."

It was at that moment that he realized he had left the big pink bear in the waiting room. He glanced at his younger brother in horror. "I left it back in the chair!"

"It's okay, Kev. Just go back and get it. I'll wait here with Macy."

"You sure?"

"Go on."

Nodding, Kevin looked back at Macy. "I'll be right back. I forgot your present. But I'll be right back, okay?"

"I'll be here waiting," Macy said with a smile just a little more like her usual one.

Kevin hoped that maybe the pink bear would make her smile a little bit bigger. But if that didn't do it, he would find some other way to make her smile.

Because he thought Macy deserved to smile, and he really wanted to be the person to make it happen.


	3. Regret

Disclaimer: I do not own JONAS.

A/N: Not sure about this chapter, but I wanted to include a Nick and Macy moment. Some of you might recognize the structure – I stole it from fairetaleredeux's Misadventures in Babysitting (a chapter from each brother's point of view). But her story is better, so you should go read it if you haven't already.

Nick stood in the hospital room hoping that Kevin would hurry. He liked Macy well enough, but they had never been particularly close. And honestly, he wasn't very good at making small talk; there was a reason he was known as the quiet one. Throw in the added pressure of having to make someone feel better, and he was a disaster. Kevin might be a little odd, but he could usually make people smile, and Joe was so confident that he could usually fake his way through any interaction. But not Nick.

After a moment's silence he decided that he needed to say something. "How are you doing?"

Macy raised an eyebrow at the questions. "I've had better days," she replied dryly.

He chuckled at her response. "I'd imagine. Did they give you something for the pain?"

"Yeah, but I don't feel that bad. Play sports as much as I do and you build up a pretty high tolerance for pain."

Nick noticed that a cloud seemed to pass across her face as she mentioned the now forbidden activity. He had never really thought about Macy's athletics before; he knew she was always dressed in uniforms and carrying sports equipment, but unlike Kevin and Joe he had never gone to see her play. As the song writer in the family, he had less free time than the others, and every time they had gone with Stella to a game, he had just been grateful for the opportunity for some time to work alone. Now he regretted missing a chance to see that side of her.

He considered acting like he didn't know about her recent news, but that would be cowardly. Instead he looked at her and said sincerely, "I'm sorry you can't play anymore."

"Thanks Nick. Me too."

He saw her fighting back tears and wished he was better at this sort of thing. "You always have your JONAS website, right?" He said, wincing a little at how lame that sounded.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not sure that I can fill all my spare time with JONAS. I love you guys and all, but I was running low on JONAS craft ideas as it is."

Nick felt immensely relieved to hear this. Macy was already borderline scary as a fan; he shuttered at the thought of all her time and energy being focused on them. But if she had needed that, he supposed they all would have put up with it. Maybe his dad could have given her a real job or something.

He heard her sigh and then ask, "What would you do if you couldn't perform anymore?"

He looked up at her in surprise. It was basically the same question that Kevin had asked himself. He hadn't needed to think about it; he knew that no matter what he had to be involved in music. It was part of him. "Even if I couldn't perform, I'd find some way to be involved in music – write, produce, teach, work in a music store. Anything."

"But wouldn't it bother you to see other people doing the think that you loved?"

"Of course it would. But it would be worse to be away from it all together."

Macy sat quietly, obviously thinking about what he had said.

"You could coach or manage. I bet the teams would be fighting over you," he told her.

"Maybe eventually," she said. "I'm not sure I could go do those things right away. I think it would hurt too much."

He nodded. As they sat in silence, he realized that he and Macy had more in common than he had previously thought. They were both intense, driven, competitive people who worked hard at the things they loved. Somehow because of her JONAS obsession, he had missed that. He felt bad for underestimating the petite brunette.

At that moment, Kevin burst into the room carrying the bear. "Guess what just happened!"

"Someone tried to steal my present?" Macy offered, obviously making an effort for Kevin.

"No," he said. "But good try."

Nick realized that it must be something very exciting because Kevin didn't even try to get Nick to make a guess. "Joe and Stella were kissing!"

"What!" Nick burst out. He had been waiting for years for Joe to get up the courage to do something about his obvious feelings for the girl.

"Yeah. I don't even think they realized I was standing there." Glancing over at Macy, he said, "I think it might be a few more minutes before they make it in to see you."

Macy made a move that resembled a shrug, which caused her to frown in what Nick supposed was pain. "No problem. It's about time they got together."

"Do you think…" Nick trailed off.

"If you hurry, you should be able to see for yourself. They didn't show signs of stopping any time soon," his brother replied, knowing exactly what he was thinking.

Nick smiled at Macy before racing out the door, leaving her alone with Kevin and the pink bear.


	4. Compassion or Passion

Disclaimer: I don't own JONAS.

A/N: Guess what – when you fly international business class on American Airlines, you can watch an episode of Jonas. So after watching the first episode, I was inspired to sit down and write another chapter. I can't wait to come back and read all the stories everyone posted while I was gone. And Jenn, I'm sorry if it is too fluffy and not angsty enough. I tried to balance it but I think I might have failed.

Nick hurried out of the room, leaving Macy alone with Kevin who was clutching a large pink teddy bear, which she figured must be for her. Normally the idea of a member of JONAS bringing her a stuffed animal would have been enough to cause her to hyperventilate, but she really wasn't herself today. And she maudlinly considered that she might never really be herself again.

"Uhm…" Kevin started, sounding a little nervous. "I got you this."

He placed the bear on the bed next to her, and she reached out to touch the stuffed animal. It was incredibly soft and fluffy, and it was so like Kevin to have gotten it for her. He had to have stopped at the gift shop downstairs because she hadn't been in the hospital for very long. Sometimes he was so sweet it was difficult for her to believe he was real. Like that time he encouraged her to sing even though her voice tended to render him unconscious.

"Thanks," she said softly. "It's really soft."

She sat on the bed cuddling the bear to her chest. It really was the softest stuffed animal she had ever held. She knew she should let him know how much she liked the gift and how much she appreciated that he brought it to her, but she couldn't muster the energy. Even the news that Joe and Stella had finally made some sort of progress couldn't hold her interest for long. All she could think about was how different her life was going to be now.

When she didn't say anything else, Kevin blurted out, "You could be in my organ grinder act."

Normally Macy was able to follow Kevin's sudden pronouncements, but this one had her stumped. She wasn't sure if it was the pain medication or if he was being unusually abstract. Or maybe she had heard him wrong.

"Huh?"

She saw him wince before he began to explain. "I was trying to think about what I would do if I couldn't play guitar anymore…"

Suddenly Macy understood. "And you're going to be an organ grinder because of the monkey and the music."

He broke out into a huge grin. "Exactly! And you could join me and the monkey. I bet you'd look great in a beret."

Macy blushed a little at the compliment, which was almost enough to make her forget her depression for a moment. She actually would enjoy hanging out with Kevin and a monkey while wearing a beret. Almost as much as hitting a grand slam or spiking the ball into her opponent's face. In fact, if she could do all three, life would pretty much be perfect. Except that was no longer an option for her.

She could feel her eyes start to well up with tears again.

"Don't you like monkeys?" Kevin said with evident worry. "If not we could forget about the monkey. You could turn the crank on the organ, and I'll collect the money with the hat."

Sniffling, she assured him it wasn't the monkey, "I love monkeys, and it's really sweet of you to include me." She looked up at him, "It's just sports are a huge part of my life. Who am I if I'm not on a team?"

Kevin furrowed his forehead in confusion. "You're Macy."

"But being a great athlete is what made me special."

She couldn't believe she had actually said that out loud – just admitted that she was worried that without sports she would be no one. And she had just dumped her entire emotional mess onto a poor, unsuspecting rock star. This might be worse than the time she accidentally tore off most of Joe's clothes in the middle of the school hallway. Or when she slammed Kevin's hand in his locker. She wouldn't blame him if he turned and ran.

But he didn't.

She saw him take a deep breath before speaking, "Macy that's not what makes you special. You're way more than just a girl who's good at sports. You're sweet and funny and smart and really pretty." She noticed his cheeks flush a little as he said the last part, but she was pretty sure her face was a much brighter shade of pink. "You can do anything you want." He hesitated before adding, "Except maybe singing, but anything else."

The amazing thing was she could tell he meant it. Kevin Lucas of JONAS really thought plain old Macy Misa was special. Not because she held the record for most points scored in a basketball season, but because she was just herself.

"Thank you, Kevin," she said sincerely. "That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"Really?" He perked up a little at her comment. "Cause I meant it. Every word."

Macy smiled at his earnestness. He really was absolutely adorable.

And then she saw his entire fact light up.

"You smiled like Macy!"

"What?"

"You just gave me a real Macy smile. When Nick and I came in, you smiled at us, but it wasn't a real smile. I was worried that maybe I wouldn't see it again."

"Well, I guess you can make me smile even when my world is falling apart."

The two starred at each other. Macy saw his eyes flicker to her mouth as he began to slowly lean towards her…

"Macy, how are you feeling?"

For the first time in her life, Macy wanted to kill her best friend. Looking over at the doorway, she saw that Joe, Stella and Nick had all arrived.

"I'm fine, Stella." She saw the worry in her friend's face and said, "Well maybe not really fine right now, but I'll be okay eventually." Looking fondly over at Nick and Kevin she added, "The Lucas boys are pretty good at cheering a girl up."

Stella smiled up at Joe who was standing next to her, holding her hand. "I know what you mean," she said.

Macy couldn't help poking fun at her friend. "From what I hear, it sounds like Joe has been doing more than just cheering you up. Do you have any news you would like to share with your wounded, depressed best friend?"

Stella blushed. "I… uhm, we…"

Joe let go of her hand and put an arm around her. "Hopefully, Stella is going to agree to be my girlfriend. We just haven't exactly talked about it yet."

"Well what are you doing standing here, then?" Macy demanded. She wanted her best friend to have a happy ending, but she was also sort of hoping that maybe if they left she could be alone with Kevin again. Having everyone around staring at her just reminded her of her problems. Kevin made her feel just a little bit hopeful. "Go talk. I'll be fine."

"Yeah, I'll keep her company," Kevin said quickly, as if he had read her mind. "You two go talk."

Macy could tell that part of Stella really wanted to stay in the room with her, but she knew her best friend really wanted to discuss things with Joe. "Are you sure?"

"Positive. I can't wait to hear all about it."

She noticed Joe frown a little and suspected he didn't love the idea of Stella discussing him with her. Stella must have picked up on it too because she turned to him and said, "You do know that girls discuss these things with their best friends, right?"

"How's that fair? You're my best friend. Who am I supposed to tell?"

Kevin cleared his throat loudly before saying, "What about me and Nick? What are we? Chopped liver?" Turning to Macy he added, "I never understood that expression, did you?"

She shook her head carefully and saw Joe roll his eyes at his brother before saying, "Can we go now, Stell?"

Seeing Stella hesitate, Macy waved her out of the room. "Get going!"

Smiling and promising to come back later, Stella took Joe's hand and pulled him out of the room, leaving her with Kevin and Nick. She almost laughed as she saw Kevin try to subtly tell Nick to leave. Subtlety was not one of his strong suites.

Nick smirked at his oldest brother before leaning over and giving Macy an awkward hug. "Feel better, Mace," he said. "I'll see you later."

"Okay. Thanks, Nick."

Once it was just the two of them again, neither Kevin nor Macy seemed to know what to say. Finally Kevin broke the silence, "You know since you're going to have a little more free time now, uhm…" He ran his hand through his hair nervously. "I was wondering if maybe you'd like to do something with me… sometime."

Macy silently wondered if maybe the doctors had slipped her a mild sedative before her mom broke the news about sports to her because she couldn't believe she hadn't just passed out. Cause it seemed like Kevin Lucas just asked her out. But she wasn't totally sure; he could just be offering to help her find a new hobby.

"Like a date?"

"Yes," he replied. "But only if you want to. Otherwise we could just hang out."

"Is this some sort of sympathy thing? Ask out the poor injured girl?" She knew that sounded a little harsh, but she didn't want people (especially Kevin) to hang out with her just because they felt sorry for her.

"What?" Kevin said with obvious surprise. "Of course not. Weren't you listening? I think you're amazing, and I just want to spend time with you. I was going to ask you eventually – the timing just never seemed right."

"And now seemed like a good time?"

He nodded.

"Okay. I'd love to go out with you sometime." Part of her wanted to say no and wallow in her pain, but she had wanted to date Kevin for awhile now, and she wasn't going to let that stupid punk who hurt her take away another dream.

"Excellent!" He sounded like he had just won the lottery.

"But Kevin," she said hesitantly. "I may not be able to be the happy, bubbly Macy you know any more. I may not be fun to be around for awhile."

He reached out and patted her hand. "Doesn't matter. I can be cheerful enough for a bunch of people."

Once again she smiled up at Kevin, fairly sure that no one else could have made her feel this good on what should have been one of the worst days of her life. Sure a date didn't solve her problems; it was still going to be painful to go back to school and see everyone else in their uniforms and hear all about the games, but she felt like maybe she could manage it. And she knew that she didn't have to deal with it alone. She had friends who cared about her, and she would make it through this.

"There it is again!" Kevin said happily. "The Macy smile."

And this time he did lean over and gently kiss her.


	5. Loneliness

_Disclaimer: I do not own JONAS or Pachelbel's Cannon._

_A/N: This is really short and probably not very good, but I was so excited that the site was back up I wanted to write something QUICKLY and post it. Before it got temperamental again. Of course, after writing it, I found that I could log-in but I couldn't actually do anything. Like upload the story I stayed up until 1 am to write. Special thanks to faerietaleredux for betaing._

Macy stood transfixed watching two students climb up on step-stools to hang a giant banner advertising the first game of the hockey play-offs. Around her students stood watching, chatting away like everything was fine. And she supposed for everyone else, it was.

"I can't wait to go to the game! The playoffs are always so exciting," some girl gushed to her friend.

"I know! Do you remember the party after they won last year?"

Apparently something hilarious must have happened because the two girls started giggling.

"Do you think they have a chance without Misa? She was the highest scorer," she heard some sophomore ask the group of guys standing next to him.

She never heard their analysis because she turned and fled. She hurried down the hallway towards the safety of the atrium, hoping she could make it before she began to tear up or lash out at someone. It was moments like this that made being at school torture.

She had been back at school for two weeks, and she supposed things were starting to get back to normal, or as normal as her life could be without a schedule packed with practices and games. Now her only after-school commitment was physical therapy twice a week at the hospital. She felt lost without someplace to be. Lost and lonely. She was so used to being surrounded by people – being part of a team. She had known she would miss the actual physical activity, but she hadn't expected to miss the people so much.

And it wasn't even their fault. Her teammates from various sports had come to visit her in the hospital and had called when she was convalescing at home. She knew that they meant well, but seeing them and talking to them was a painful reminder of everything that she had lost so she just withdrew. She stopped returning their calls and eventually they got the hint.

She missed them and she felt bad for hurting them, but she couldn't sit around smiling while they talked about something she was no longer a part of. It was bad enough watching them all walk around in their uniforms or hearing about the latest match over the morning announcements. And now she was going to have to see signs and banners posted all over school – there was no escape.

The sad thing was everyone assumed that she was "ditching" her teammates for JONAS. She had actually heard people muttering that she thought she was too good to hang out with her old friends now that she was dating Kevin Lucas.

What they didn't know was that Kevin Lucas was the only thing keeping her sane. He was the only thing keeping the loneliness at bay. The only thing that was able to distract her from her loss. He was sweet and caring and trying so hard to make her feel better about herself.

But much as she adored Kevin, she clearly couldn't focus all her time and energy on him. And even if she could, she didn't want to. She wouldn't let herself become one of those girls who defined themselves entirely by who they are dating. She wanted to be more than just someone's girlfriend, even if the someone was the most amazing guy she had ever met. She wanted to be Macy Misa again. She just wasn't sure who that was anymore. She didn't know where she fit in if she wasn't playing sports.

She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't notice Kevin open the door to the atrium and slide onto the bench next to her.

"Hey,Mace," he said sweetly, kissing her on the cheek. "Just wanted to check that we're still on for this weekend."

Macy had almost forgotten that they had plans for a movie marathon with pizza and a side of charades. She hesitated a moment before saying, "I think I'm going to have to pass, Kev. I need some time alone this weekend."

"Are you feeling okay? Do you need me to get the nurse?" Kevin asked immediately. Then his eyes went wide. "Wait! You aren't breaking up with me are you? Cause that's what it means in the movies when a girls says she needs time. It's never a good thing like, 'I need time to knit you a cool sweater vest' or 'I need time to train a performing seal to play Pachelbel's Cannon'."

"No!" She said firmly. She might not want her entire identity to come from being Kevin Lucas' girlfriend, but she wasn't stupid enough to let him go just because she was having a personal crisis. "I have no desire to break up with you." She smiled at him, reaching out to grab his hand. "In fact, you're the one part of my life I feel totally happy about. It's the rest of it I need to figure out."

"Are you sure," he asked timidly.

"I am absolutely positive."

"Okay," he said, still sounding a bit unsure. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

Macy felt overwhelmed with love for the earnest, curly-haired boy in front of her. She had never met anyone like him. Leaning forward she gave him a quick kiss before saying, "You just did."

"Did what?"

"Helped me."

"But I didn't do anything," he said, clearly confused.

Macy smiled at him. "Of course you did. You were your usual caring, supportive self. You make me feel better without even trying."

"So does that mean we're back on for this weekend?" He asked hopefully.

"Nice try, Rock star. I'm feeling better, but I still need to figure things out."

He sighed. "Fair enough. But if you need me or change your mind, you know where to find me."

"I do know where to find you, Mr. Lucas." Then she giggled a little and added, "A seal playing Pachelbel's Cannon?"

"You know that would be totally cool," he replied.

"It would," she agreed. Then she leaned in to kiss him as she said, "But not as cool as you."

She wished that everything in her life was as simple and easy as falling for Kevin Lucas, but she knew that the rest of it was going to be much more difficult.

_A/N2: So here's my prediction. You're all going to ask how she can be lost and lonely when she has Kevin. And then I will know that I was ineffective. Or the site will go down again, no one will be able to review, and I'll just imagine that that is what you were all thinking. That'll work too._


End file.
